I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
