omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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