How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no, he came in my armpit
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
