If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
