I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
