Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
