LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
