Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
that's an acceptable place to lick
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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