I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
