im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
