Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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