i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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