I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
