im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
