obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
