I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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