well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
