Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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