I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
