Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
