So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
