Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
