Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
