I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
