How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
