there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
