I smell stomach acid.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
