I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
