he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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