If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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