It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
