would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
