I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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