Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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