I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
