you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
