Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
A+ Viking dick
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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