Do you still have your period?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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