if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
