you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
