How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
