maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
