yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
