reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How external is "for external use only"?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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