Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
