I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
