Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
