Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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