just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
