just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
