Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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