We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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