We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
