Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
